At one time I had my theology all nailed down. But, there is only one place where theology is " nailed down." Now, I don't attempt hammering any nails. Or, I nail my theology down in the one place where Jesus, the Christ got nailed down; on the cross. It is only at this intersection of greatest danger that I am mysteriously theologically safe, where certitude dies giving rise to paradox. Truth can be broken and renewed. I can have my beliefs, but here I am blind. Here I reach, waving my hand into a misty fog reaching for something beyond belief. Faith.
When I have doubts, God forgive me; when I don't have doubts God forgive me even more. After all, a God who is bound to confirm my conclusions is the god of me looking in the bathroom mirror. God forgive me.
This cross, is where I try to live in the intersection of life. Paul said, in Galatians,
Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ( Eugene Peterson's The Message ; Galatians 2 )
Here all the deep complexity of my theology vanishes into profound simplicity...it comes down to sacrifice, me, dying to everything I think I know. Here, love emerges, rising like the fragrant perfume from an exotic flower. And, from love, not my conditional anemic love. But, from the love of Jesus, that conquers all...comes the power to resurrect.
This is all my theology, profoundly simple to say, but an immense challenge to live. But I know from this simple theology lies the redemptive, imaginative reality of the Kingdom. It is from living this out that I see, reveal, and can build his Kingdom on earth as in heaven.
My theology is living at the intersection of the cross. It's here my gods die, I die. Here, I'm not concerned with the condemnation of things, and people...only to love, and resurrect something new.