Church transition....

Interestingly, my last post was written on my birthday, a bit of a milestone...55. Birthdays have always been a struggle for me, in my dysfunctional family it was really just another day, not something we celebrated. So it's always a time I seem to bottom out slipping into a funk. But this year things seemed to exacerbate, as I step across a threshold into a new journey. For years I convinced myself I was living faithfully by expecting Jesus to live where I am. I clash of wills...not really, it's more of a battle with myself. But, you know, you can really delude yourself thinking your fighting with God. Really it's a battle with one of many gods, if that makes sense. More and more, its has been the clash with the god of religion. Oh, don't kid yourself, the god of religion has a pretty face, attractive, sucking you in to where servant-hood becomes slavery...it's an addiction, a quick fix.This morning I listened to an old U2 cut from the POP Album, " If God will send his angels." One of the verses goes;

Jesus never let me down

You know Jesus used to show me the score

Then they put Jesus in show business

Now it's hard to get in the door

For the past 3 years I've organized the scheduling of worship at a local church. It is a slippery dangerous slope when a church sees worship as what happens on Sunday morning, and especially when it has no context or connection to the sacredness of all that surrounds, and to the reality of all that is life in which the congregation lives. There should be a constant ebb and flow, like an eternal grace filled redemptive tide between worship and mission. If not, we make Jesus " show business." Part of this church's vision statement is , " a Christ centered community, permeating the peninsula and the nations with the refining fire of His love, following him in obedience and inspiring others to do the same."

So permeation becomes nothing more than, another worship service...dim lights creating an ambient groove, candles, slick video loops...and coffee. We make Jesus, " Show business."

So, I'm at a threshold. It hasn't been a sudden arrival to this door way, its been a journey a process. For a couple of years I've been working on a local first nations reserve, and in the fall will start on another one. And in the midst of this I've been down at the Mustard Seed Church with the addicted, mentally ill, homeless and poor. This has become church. I know some folks are going to struggle with that concept, thinking church is this tightly knit community, the body of Christ...your church, their church.

But church to me has evolved into a way of life...I live in the constant realm of church, with the saints dirtying there feet here on earth, and with the saints in the heavenly realms. Even now as bizarre as it might seem to you, I'm connected to the church. Al, this drunken believer who constantly falls off the wagon, lives rough on the streets and in the back alleys and one of the most creative spiritual writers I've ever met has been baptized, but never been in a church building...he and I are part of the same "Church"...and apart of your church.

So it has been a struggle filled with anxiety and tension, leaving, trying to help people understand why. There is no anger. I guess I could have stayed and fought for change. But, a spiritual mentor told me years ago, rather than wage war, sowing seeds of discouragement and discord, it is better to walk quietly away...that change more often comes from outside rather than from within.

If Jesus has a business, it is His Kingdom and it's not hard to get in the door...it's wide open. It's in His creation in which we've raped and plundered for our own greed rather than be good stewards, it's with the poor, the hungry and the oppressed.

I leave you with some words that stripped me bare over the summer...

26-27Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. ( James 1:26-27 )

13-17"Quit your worship charades.
   I can't stand your trivial religious games:
Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—
   meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!
Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
   You've worn me out!
I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion,
   while you go right on sinning.
When you put on your next prayer-performance,
   I'll be looking the other way.
No matter how long or loud or often you pray,
   I'll not be listening.
And do you know why? Because you've been tearing
   people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.
Go home and wash up.
   Clean up your act.
Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings
   so I don't have to look at them any longer.
Say no to wrong.
   Learn to do good.
Work for justice.
   Help the down-and-out.
Stand up for the homeless.
   Go to bat for the defenseless.( Isaiah 1:13-17 )

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers...the journey continues, stay tuned. Pax Vobisum, Ron+

Comments

[Hope]

It is always good to hear your voice Ron. Happy belated birthday. Birthdays for me were the one day a year I felt safe.

I sense an undercurrent of grieving between the words of this post. He cries with you.

[wilsonian]

This is the most encouraging thing I've read in ages.
Peace to you, Ron.
I look forward to hearing how this unfolds.

I left the doors a little over a year ago, but can't say that my "church community" is as tangible as yours. But I keep walking down that path.

[Amy]

Ron,
I'm excited about how Father is leading you. Feel free to visit my blog, and other blogs on my blogroll. I think you'll find great encouragement to what you are going through.

Blessings,
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com

[jim]

You speak my heart, Ron, although I do yet occupy the back pew of a local AoG church one early Sunday morning service most weeks. Family attends, I like the pastor; but, in truth, it is the YDC, rescue mission, and my job at the school which feed my soul. And I suppose if any of those blessings somehow disappear, what I have learned is that Christ "in" me is the journey, not the activity, the service, nor the ministry. The next step, buddy. The next step. Find Him there and rejoice. It is good, for me, to continue hearing His witness in your words........

[Scott M. Kendall]

I agree. I write on similar issues. Keep sharing. I hope we can be heard.

[ron cole]

Thanks Hope, even to this day, I don't celebrate birthdays, just too many bad memories. Just a day I lay low, and my wife and daughters understand. Thank you for constant seeds of encouragement that you sow. It was a tough decision, but I'm excited to where this new path will lead. Peace...Ron+

[ron cole]

Thanks Erin, keep walkin', know that there are a lot of us on the same path.

[ron cole]

Amy, thanks, I have been over for visits to your space. Your passion for Jesus, and His Kingdom is filled in your writing. Apologies for not leaving a comment...I'll surprise you when you least expect it. Blessings...Ron+

[ron cole]

Hey Jim, the back pew...that's pretty close to the back door my friend (lol). It's amazing how often I sense you and I sort of on the same path. For me I cherish that thought...you encourage me...Thanks!!! Blessings...Ron+

[ron cole]

Thanks Scott, voices...conversation...being heard. That's what it's all about. The space is always open, have your word. Peace...Ron+

Ron, one thing I like about you is that your posts are NEVER boring.

Paige Hughes

[ron cole]

Thanks Paige for the encouragement.

[Joe]

Hi Ron - Thank you for that post. I'm really trying to figure out what 'Church' is all about at the moment. I've got so many questions!
I see that I am not alone though. I'm glad about that coz sometimes you feel like a lone voice.
If you ever want to have a read my blog is www.evangelistchanging.blogspot.com
Cheers
Joe

[marion]

I'm with you...
in 'your' Church

I pray you know what to do...

it is for freedom that Christ has set us free