In three weeks we head over a play at two prisons in Mission, ( The Mission Institution and The Ferndale Institution ). Already, my freakin' mind is playing its games, distracting me like a persistent tap on the shoulder. And, of course the sarcastic whisper, that is more like wind trying to destroy and erode any confidence I might have. Yes I feel it and hear it, tap tap tap, " psssst...you're not cut out for this, leave it for someone else. "
My mind is right. I'm not cut out for this, because really, I don't know shit. I can only imagine being locked up for years, life evolving around drug addiction, crime and violence. I can only imagine what their wounded pasts must have been like. At best, I relate to these things at an imaginary level. So yes, I'm a mix of emotion...anxious, scared and nervous. I'm not cut out, but I am going.
Because, I think mission is about " PRESENCE ", not just giving a " PRESENT ". I mean, I could or we could just send a care package with a letter. But I think mission has to be deeper, it needs to be both. I remember an opportunity a faith community I was a part of had, to start a breakfast club at a local school. It would have been an opportunity to feed some less fortunate kids, connect, build a relationship with kids in the community. It never happened, we sent a freezer to store food in. It opted for the PRESENT, without and PRESENCE.
We played at William Head Correctional Facility in July, and I had all the same feelings as mentioned above. I felt I was in over my head, but I went. I discovered what the PRESENCE part of mission is all about. We were packing up, and it was a chance to talk to some of the inmates for while. I met Dave. He's been in prison for 12 years, an indication his crime was serious. We talked about music, about family, about how he spent his day...and talked about what was going on outside the fence. Eventually, I asked Dave, when he thought he might get parole. " Maybe, a couple of years ", he said. I asked him what he hoped for?
Hope! I still have no idea why that popped out of my mouth...but, it did. He hoped to reconnect with his family. He hoped he would be a better person. He hoped he would fit back into society. It was then I could talk about a God of hope, about a God who is hoping for the same things he is. And we prayed for hope.
That is the PRESENCE of mission. Me, us just showing up to be a presence...and the presence of God weaving himself into the midst of it all. Really, I have no qualifications, most of us don't. But I think we walk into those places with that mustard seed of faith that Jesus spoke of and see what grows out it. Our minds will tell us, we're in over our heads. But truth tells us, Jesus tells us, he left us with a might counselor, a spirit of encouragement...that would give us his words to speak. Often, it happens that way.
All this, is to say...we real need to think about how we do, and be mission. All to often it comes down to nothing more than, " the cheque is in the mail." It all to often is a PRESENT with out any PRESENCE. One can not avoid reading the gospels and see that it is about both. Missions has to be about both.
Anyways, if you've got a minute on the 31st of October, pray for us, that we would be both a PRESENT and PRESENCE.
that was some powerful comments and you're spurring me on in areas where i too want more presence. thanks.
Posted by: shallowfrozenwater | October 09, 2009 at 07:14 AM
You nailed it, Ron. If only we (who don't know shit) could get it through our minds (and keep it there) that mission truly begins with presence, there would be a lot more shalom in our witness. Why do you think we lack the confidence to believe this? Do you think it a trust issue?
Randy
Posted by: Randy Hein | October 10, 2009 at 06:19 PM
Randy, I think my answer would be " risk." To believe that the Spirit dwells within, without...blows in the midst of all that creation is. It hovered over the embryonic beginnings of the first creation, and hovers in the midst of new creation.So even in these places of great indifference, jails, on the street...your neighborhood, the potential fro the Spirit to break int the midst of a simple conversation is possible. So,I think it all comes down to just being risking just being present.
Posted by: ron cole | October 11, 2009 at 10:36 AM