Chick-Fill-A...another reminder of our terminal illness

Chick-Fill-A another reminder of our terminal illness...in the back drop of all the recent hoopla I'll share a story.

A couple of months ago, working in the emergency department we had a woman maybe in her seventy’s come in with her forty year old son. To look at him you would never guess he was forty. He looked older than his mother, he was thin, gaunt and literally wasting away. He didn’t have to say a word, you could see pain, suffering, shame and guilt written all over him. He was in the end stages of AIDS. Ravaged by the disease, he was severly dehydrated and dying of malnutrition…and his mom wasn’t coping with it all.

Around her neck, I could see she was wearing a cross, so I asked her if she was a part of a church and if she was getting help and being supported there. At this point it was as if I had touched an open wound. Tears started to stream down her face. Handing her some Kleenex she told me, no, that she couldn’t tell anyone about her son.

Even if it is not blatantly obvious, it is overt…maybe in her church, tucked in the corner you can see it …judgement. This lady knew it. Homosexuality she has been told is a sin, and it will be judged, and AIDS is the consequence, the earthly judgement. If that’s not bad enough her son still has the eternal torment of hell to face yet. And, of course this judgement I’m sure in her mind is partly about her. I mean, homosexuality is a choice…perhaps if she was a better parent her sons outcome would have been much better.

Who is ” this Jesus ” that many churches worship…I do not see him anywhere in the gospels ?

What did all this support of Chick-Fill-A really show the GLBTQ communities, was it really freedom of speech or something much more insidious and terminal.

And, all the time tumbling around in my mind is this image of Jesus…hanging out with the most marginalized in the world. Somehow, he always seemed to be in the midst of sick, the blind, and crippled beggars…those possessed by demons. He touched the lepers, he kissed and healed them. He touched prostitutes, he came to their rescue…they washed his feet with tears and perfume.

And here is this woman whose gay son is dying of AIDS and there is no one in her church that she can tell. I think, I know Jesus would embrace and love this man without any judgement…and then I see a church, the body of Christ unwilling to move it’s legs, to wrap its arms around this young man…or to move its lips and kiss him.

I know some one is going to say the trite, ” love the sinner, hate the sin.” Sorry, I’m gonna have to cry bull shit on that one. You can’t love and judge at the same time…that is a very tainted kind of love. Jesus says we are to simply love…the way he did. The gospels are permeated with this kind of radical scandalous redemptive love. Can we please just learn to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and LOVE till it kills us…a love that you sacrifice everything for.

When will we ever be cured of this terminal illness...and love. We worship Jesus the God-man, who was willing to risk, and give his life for love. Maybe it's finally high time we risk everything on love.

Comments

[Andrew]

Hey Ron,
I do agree with you that the church could use more compassion and love. Setting aside the homosexual issue (that seems to be an endless circle debate), I would like to challenge you on your thought about "love the sinner, hate the sin." I don't think it is tainted love, though how one lives out this statement has definiitely caused much hurt. From my experience I have seen this statement used to justify "hate the sin and the sinner" type of behaviour. Do you think that Jesus hates sin? If hating sin but loving the sinner is tainted love my question would be why? We are called to LOVE, but not just to LOVE. It is impossible to love with out passing judgment. We all pass judgment, even in your blog you are passing judgment on others. Judgement is not, in itself a negative thing, though it tends to have negative connotations. I am not asking those who don't follow God to live according to His plan, however I do believe that as Christians we have a duty to call other Christians to strive for holiness as well. I do believe we need to love, but I also believe we need to strive for holiness (not holier than thou) through the power of the Spirit. My heart broke when I read your story about the lady having no support from the Church. Unfortunately this is more true than not, and I want to be part of chanding this. Sorry coffee didn't work out this time, maybe next time.

Be Blessed.

[ron cole]

Usually in the context of my blogging over the years it hasn't been my intention to judge a person usually it is to engage through questions, and critique various aspects of church and christianity and faith. But you are right is is difficult not to judge, but as difficult as it is Jesus reveals we're not to. Matthew 7:1..." Do not judge, lest you be judged ". Or as Eugene Peterson eloquently puts it; "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
Did Jesus hate sin? I don't know...I know there is nowhere in the gospels where he says, " hate the sin, love the sinner." That appears to be a christian invention.
You raise an interesting question towards the end of your comment, " living according to God's plan." I'd like to wrestle with that one over coffee. Is it really a plan of holy, righteous moral living...or is it something profoundly more redemptively imaginative?
We really really struggle with love, and grace...the idea that love can conquer all. It's kind of crazy, but in the gospels about the only people Jesus judged were those who liked to judge...it didn't judge the prostitues, theives, tax collectors the riff raff of the town before he hate with them; the woman at the well; the adultress; Zachias...the thief on the cross. He loved them...I think radical scandalous redemptive love does something divine. I decided long ago to love...the addicts, the gays and lesbians, the transgendered, the alcoholics and pushers we see at CARTS every week. I have been fortunate enough to develope realtionships, friendships with some of them. If Jesus wants to judge me...I hope if I've errored it was on the side of love. Anyways, as always Drew much love and peace to you Nelia and the kids.

[Syl]

"It is impossible to love without passing judgment."

Does Andrew really mean that?

I've never encountered any definition of love that includes judgment. I have encountered a definition of love states it endures, is patient and kind, not envious or jealous, not boastful, proud, haughty, conceited, or rude; that it doesn't insist on its own way, is not resentful, pays no attention to a suffered wrong, and does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness but rejoices when right and truth prevail. It also bears whatever comes, is ready to believe the best of every person, and its hope never fades - it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I don't see "passes judgment" in that list of characteristics.

Instruction - whether in a life skill, job skill or behavior, whether received from a teacher, parent, or boss - rightfully includes an honest evaluation of the success of the learner in achieving the desired degree of competency. But that is not the same as judgment. Judgment, in my opinion and experience, is an in or out, win or lose, accept or reject, all or nothing proposition - whereas love, as defined above, does not include "out", "lose", "reject", or "nothing" as options.

[ron cole]

"Judgment, in my opinion and experience, is an in or out, win or lose, accept or reject, all or nothing proposition - whereas love, as defined above, does not include "out", "lose", "reject", or "nothing" as options."

Beautiful Syl...I think Jesus, the God-man constantly reveals this love in the Gospels. Jesus Simply says, " God is Love." The most profound revelation from those words might be, " if God is not love...God does not exist. His love is boundless...there is no barriers, fences, borders, walls or compartments. It knows no limits.