“To deal with the word of Jesus otherwise than by doing it is to give him the lie. It is to deny the Sermon on the Mount and to say No to his word...That is why as soon as the hurricane begins we lose the word, and find that we have never really believed it. The word we had was not Christ's, but a word we had wrested from him and made our own by reflecting on it instead of doing it.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I think there is only one outcome from wrestling with God...it is to be left limping, permanently. It is to be left exhausted in the struggle of clinging to the things that you thought were important. In the deepest and most profound sense, it is to be stripped naked.
For me , it has been about a 40 year wrestling match, and it's only been that past few years that God had pulled the last bits from my clenched fingers. I could have avoided the wrestling match altogther has it not been for
John Dear, convincing me to spend a couple of years of reading nothing but the gospels.
I was told, for example, that Jesus only directly answers 3 of the 183 questions that he himself is asked in the four Gospels! This is totally surprising to me who has grown up assuming that the very job description of religion is to give people answers and to resolve peoples' dilemmas. Apparently this is not Jesus' understanding of the function of religion because he operates very differently.
Jesus' questions are to re-position you, make you own your unconscious biases, break you out of your dualistic mind, challenge your image of God or the world, and present new creative and redemptive possibilities. He himself does not usually wait for or expect specific answers. He hopes to tweek, or ignite a person's imagination. He wants to engage a person, with the image of the Kingdom confronts the person, and with the process of transformation itself. Thus his questions are worth examining because they, along with the parables, reveal his basic style of encounter with humanity.
It is to reboot imagination to an alternative subversive world, the Kingdom of God; to get people to reorient there lives as to live in the Kingdom now; to get people to redeem, and rebuild the world around them in the redemptive imagination of Jesus' Kingdom...on earth as in heaven; and lastly to draw humanity into this Kingdom exactly as Jesus did.
Instead, Jesus asks questions, good questions, unnerving questions, re-aligning questions, transforming questions. He leads us into liminal, and therefore transformative space, much more than taking us into any moral high ground of immediate certitude or ego superiority. He subverts up front the cultural or theological assumptions that we are eventually going to have to face anyway. He leaves us betwixt and between, where God and grace can get at us, and where we are not at all in control.
This was the reality of my wrestling match, I hobbled away limping...my forty years of, " yeah, you don't need to tell me, I've got it all figured out. " " Doctrine, I know it all front to back, side to side." All of this stuff in confronting Jesus in the gospels was ripped from my hands and vanished before my eyes. Because the reality was, I was more secure in the " stuff " than I was in Jesus.
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in our doctrine, our theological correctness...that it becomes a blind fold from seeing the real Jesus, rather than the one we imagine.
Now I hobble around the neighborhood with nothing more than the Jesus of the gospels, his whole radical scandalous love-filled life ( all his actions, all his words ), and his relentless passion for the Kingdom of God. That is faith for me.
I know why the church avoids the gospels. Yes, I know it will read bits, and pieces, but to spend a great amount of time in the gospels is extremely dangerous. It's like pulling a fire alarm without no real evacuation plan. People only know one thing, " they need to get out of the building fast, there life and lives depend on it."
We have turned it into a bed time story. A comfortable story that lulls people to sleep to dream filled place that everything thing is all right and when they wake up " all " will be heaven. There is no where in the gospels where you come to the conclusion that Jesus came to tell a story to believe in. That we would just keep telling it over, over, over and over again almost like a hypnotic pendulum going back and forth. It was an earth shattering story that could only be lived to discover its profound mysterious eternal truth.
It's in living the gospels that we confront anew the questions of Jesus and his actions; unnerving questions, questions that move us out of our comfort zones into that liminal space where everything is realigned...in the laboratory of life it's in this reaction chamber where we are transformed. All the certitude, and concrete trite answers on which we stand crumbles under our feet. It's here living the gospels we confront our God assumptions, our cultural and humanity assumptions. It's here we are left to wrestle in the context of living life, where in that awkward space we are left teetering where we can only reach for grace and love.
If we read the gospels for a season, immersed ourselves into " all " of it...I have no doubt someone would have the courage to pull the fire alarm and evacuate the building...and live the fullness of Jesus and the gospels.
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